Sir Malachi Jellicoe is a one-off character in The New Statesman, and appeared in the show's pilot "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" first broadcast on 13 September 1987. He is portrayed by actor John Woodvine.
Jellicoe, referred to by Alan as "Sir Malachi", is the Chief Constable of East Yorkshire Police. He becomes acutely aware of Alan's involvement in a car accident between the Labour and Liberal candidates for Haltemprice, and decides to use Alan's power as the winning Conservative candidate in exchange for his silence on the accident. Jellicoe works behinds the scenes for the first three months of Alan's career in the House of Commons, and continually influences Alan to pass a bill in Parliament that would see the routine arming of the British Police.
Using a speech stolen from Sir Stephen Baxter, Alan is successful in getting the law passed, much to the disdain of Labour MP Mr Crippen. Norman Borman, Alan's accountant, secures a cheap source for the guns, which are made from recycled frying pans and have a high risk of exploding when fired. Jellicoe is nonetheless pleased with Alan's efforts, and agrees to hand all of the evidence of the crash over to him for destruction. During a meeting at the Hangman's Knot Inn, it becomes blatantly obvious that Sir Malachi is suffering from severe mental health issues, and has been drawing inspiration and orders from an invisible entity he calls "Almighty." Concerned about Sir Malachi's plan to criminalise Atheism, Alan plays to his delusions and suggests that the Bishop of Haltemprice, who is working to topple the gun bill, is the Devil. As Sir Malachi storms off to kill the Bishop, Alan makes a call to the Deputy Chief Constable Mr Ginsburg and tips him off.
As Malachi is about to kill the Bishop in the midst of a service, the choir (undercover police officers) pounce on Sir Malachi and take him into custody. Alan basks in the glory of a job well done, and works out a plan to instate Ginsburg as Sir Malachi's successor in exchange for the cheap guns. Ginsburg tells Alan that Sir Malachi should never have made it out of his probationary period, and had been hearing voices for years.
- Sir Malachi, and indeed his colleague Ginsburg, was a parody of the then Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police Sir John Anderton.