"Parade" is the fourth episode of the second series. It was first broadcast on 22 October 1992. Richie and Eddie steal an old war veteran's ornate wooden leg so they can put money on a horse.
Richie, Eddie and a small group of unknown locals wander into a police identity parade. Richie makes clear to the police sergeant his pride at contributing to society, then demands to know when he will get his £8 for taking part. As the boys take their places in the line-up, Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog arrive, followed by Chief Inspector Grobelaar, whom Richie mistakes for the offender and starts insulting. Grobelaar takes great delight in introducing himself to Richie, who quicky changes his tune. A gaudily-dressed woman walks in and immediately points out Spudgun as the offender, who wearily replies "Hello, mum..." Grobelaar, in disbelief, demands to know why she is accusing her own son of stealing her handbag. Spudgun explains he borrowed it so he could go to a cross-dressing party, but she doesn't believe him. Having seen enough, Grobelaar orders his officers to take her outside and give her a good drubbing.
Later on at the Lamb & Flag, all who attended the identity parade are busy spending their £8 each. Fortunately for Richie and Eddie, and indeed Spudgun, Hedgehog and Spudgun's mum (whom Hedgehog refers to as Mrs Potato) there is a new barmaid on tonight who is naive to the ploy of pretending to be from the health and safety inspectorate to get free drinks. Unfortunately for the barmaid, she is rather attractive and instantly becomes an obsession for Richie. The duo start up a conversation about the Falklands War whilst stood at the bar, with Richie falsely claiming that he saw service in the conflict, catching the attention of a tipsy patron sat at the far end. The patron reveals he lost a leg during the war, and starts to interrogate Richie as to his experience there. Richie panics and starts blagging his way through which only serves to severely annoy the patron, who punches him several times. Minutes later they get into another fight which is broken up by Tight-Mouthed Larry, who is extremely drunk and needs Richie to hold on to. Larry is the local bookie and lets slip to Richie that a horse called Sad Ken is said to come first at the 3.30 at Chepstow later on in the day. We then see that Larry blabbed a bit too loud, catching the attention of the entire pub.
Richie and Eddie come up with a scheme to make money fast to put a bet on Sad Ken, and steal the patron's ornately carved wooden leg as he sits asleep at the bar, and head down to Harry The Bastard's pawn shop. Harry offers Eddie a measly £1.50 for it, but after a bit of blackmail gives him £500. Half of Hammersmith place a bet on Sad Ken, only to watch the three-legged blind horse run in the wrong direction and eventually get shot. The boys return to the pub and get ridiculed for their loss by Larry and the pub landlord Dick Head, who reveals the attractive young barmaid to be his niece Veronica. The one-legged patron begins to rouse, and realising he only has one leg, Richie goes into a panic and formulates a plan to mug the next person who goes into the gents. Unfortunately for the boys, the first person to enter is Chief Inspector Grobelaar.
The episode ends with the pair back at the police station. Grobelaar points them out as suspects for the assault and orders his officers beat them up.
Steven O'Donnell as Spudgun
Christopher Ryan as Dave Hedgehog
Robert Llewellyn as N. Stiles
Andy De La Tour as Chief Inspector Grobelaar
Chris Langham as Tight-Mouthed Larry
Brian Croucher as Harry the Bastard
Patsy Rowlands as Mrs Potato
Julia Sawala as Veronica
- The episode is notable for having a large number of guest stars and extras, more so than any other episode of Bottom.
- The character of Harry the Bastard appeared in The Young Ones, albeit different in characterisation and played by Alexei Sayle instead of Brian Croucher.
- An uncredited Rory Bremner provided the voice of the announcer at the bookies.
- Julia Sawalha, who played Veronica, would later go on to play Saffron in Absolutely Fabulous, in which Ade later made a guest appearance, along with his wife Jennifer Saunders.