Summary
"Culture" is the third episode of the second series. It was first broadcast on 8 October 1992. Richie and Eddie must find ways to entertain themselves when their television set is taken away.
Plot
Richie and Eddie are sat in the lounge together doing a crossword, badly. After much bickering, it is revealed that they have got behind in rent payments for their television set, and Rumbelows have taken it back. Both blame each other for falling behind, with Richie accusing Eddie of spending the rent money on five magic beans which he bought from a wisened old man in the street. Eddie however accuses Richie of spending the money on a round of treatment at Dr O'Grady's Personal Organ Enhancement Clinic. Whomever is to blame, it doesn't escape us that they are bored out of their minds.
Richie suggests they plan Pin The Tail On The Donkey, but since they don't have a donkey, a tail, a pin, a blindfold or any other substitutes they resort playing Put A Bit of Sellotape on the Fridge, which Eddie wins rather easily. Eddie then suggests a See How Much Custard You Can Fit In Your Underpants Competition, which Richie wins due to his stupendously huge underpants. With the scores set at 1-1, they decided on chess as the decider. Richie fumbles around for the strongbox containing the antique chess set his Auntie Dorothy gave him, which he says is highly valuable; Lord Wellington is said to have used the set on the evening before the Battle of Waterloo, and each piece is individually carved from elephant ivory, costing £75 a piece. Eddie becomes slightly panicked, and is seen to hastily swallow the key to the strongbox. Half the pieces are missing, much to Richie's distress, Eddie having pawned them off at some point. Undeterred, they go about substituting the missing pieces with various household objects, including frozen prawns, bottles of brown sauce, a cactus and even a plastic Spiderman action figure. After much milling about, setting up the scene for the game, Richie drops the bombshell that he doesn't actually know how to play chess...
Cutting to several hours later, and Eddie is explaining the rules to him for the 124th time. He is angry, irritable, and just wants to get on with it. Eddie makes the first move, then prompts Richie to make his, which turns out to be a wildly elaborate and very messy childlike assault on the chess board, prompting Eddie to do the same and proclaim 'checkmate.' Richie becomes enraged that he has lost and a fight ensues, culminating in Richie getting dragged over to the fridge and getting his head slammed repeatedly in the door. Eddie, breaking the fourth wall, states to the camera the irony of the idea that television is said to encourage violence; he is busy beating Richie's head in, and they don't currently have one...
Richie then pops up holding the television, which he reveals to have been hidden behind the fridge the whole time. He tells him that in hope of building bridges between the two, he hid it there when the chap from Rumbelows came round. The episode ends with Eddie smashing the TV over his head.
Guest Stars
None. The episode is one of only three which only feature Rik and Ade, the others being "Hole" and "Break."
Quotes
Trivia
- Richie's inability to play chess contradicts the events of the series one episode "Apocalypse," when he offers to play a game with the Grim Reaper in exchange for his soul.
- A pint glass is visible on the shelf above the Hammond organ with "Brian's Pint" printed on it. The myterious Brian however has never been seen or mentioned.
- If you look out of the conservatory window, not only is the glass now inexplicably frosted, there are also trees outside instead of the alleyway seen in every other episode.