"Contest" is the third episode of the first series. It was broadcast on 1 October 1991. Eddie has spent the pair's last £11.80 in savings on a second-hand copy of Parade magazine, forcing the duo to endure an evening of boredom and bickering in front of the television.
The episode begins with Richie trying to commit suicide by sticking his head in the oven, and leaving a suicide note on the side for Eddie to find. This later turns out to be an attention-seeking manoeuvre to get Eddie to buy him a drink. Eddie is in a bad mood because he has been at the dole office all day trying to get his dole money paid, which was refused on the grounds that he's got £11.80 in savings. To Richie's horror, Eddie has spent the last of his savings on a second-hand copy of Parade magazine. Whilst he has been out, Richie has been slaving over the cooker preparing a nice meal for the two, which turns out to be horrifically inedible.
Eddie decides to watch the Miss World Competition on the television because he has placed a bet on Miss China coming up trumps with the change from the magazine, but Richie refuses to let him because he wants to watch a documentary, and they get into a fight, resulting in the TV getting pushed off its stand. Richie kicks Eddie out, and puts the TV back. After a few moments he flicks the channel back over to Miss World and proceeds to pleasure himself at the sight of the lovely ladies on the screen before him. Eddie meanwhile wanders back in, planning to offer an apology, only to find Richie in the throes of masturbation. Richie panics and becomes incredibly grovelling towards Eddie, who asks him to watch Miss World in peace on the agreement he will say no more about what he just saw.
Richie however cannot keep from wittering on and starts making mock telephone calls, much to Eddie's annoyance. Trying to emulate the Fonz by banging the top of the television when it goes on the fritz, Richie causes the fuses in the flat to blow. Eddie jumps up in a rage and uses Richie's hand to complete the circuit in the fuse box, resulting in a violent electrocution which throws him out of the kitchen window. Eddie gets up and finds his suicide note, assuming that he has gone and done himself in, and starts about selling all of his possessions. Richie wanders back in however, badly injured and in an incredibly foul mood.
Eddie loses his bet on Miss World, depressing Richie even more. Eddie then reveals that he never actually placed a bet, rather he just made it up so he could get away with watching it. Richie then realises that he must therefore have some money left over from his savings, which Eddie reveals he spent on a slap-up grill before coming home.
The episode ends with Richie punching Eddie's lights out.
- The third episode broadcast but believed to be the first filmed based on differences in characterisation, sets and costumes.
- The second of three episodes which conclude with Richie punching Eddie in the face.